Am I Aware That My Bad Temper Doesn't Work God's Righteousness?

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I remembered when I was newly saved and I would get mad over every trivial issue. I would argue religion a lot. While studying James (which right now is done rather slowly) - I got struck by Vernon McGee's commentary on James 1:20 which says that the wrath of man doesn't work the righteousness of God. How easy has it been for me to ignore that verse out of my pride in one way or another? Very much especially when I let my temper get the best of me. I could remember having methods like shouting and arguing or worse, even hitting others while witnessing the Gospel. I admit that it has made me become a poor witness because I couldn't enjoy my anger for long.

James 1:19-20 actually says the following:
19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: 20 For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. (KJV)
19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. (ESV) 
19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. (NIV) 

Although I usually use the KJV for my study purposes yet the NIV does state it a little more clearly by saying that human anger doesn't produce the righteousness that God desires. What has human anger really done? The first case is that Cain's anger killed the righteous Abel. However, it's not just workers of Satan that show that human anger doesn't produce the righteousness God desires. Consider how David made some bad decisions when he was angry with Nabal. Consider how Moses struck the rock twice out of his anger costing him his ticket to the Promised Land. 

The command is to be a listener, be softspoken towards others, and be slow to wrath. Rather, I find myself doing the opposite of not being a listener, being a harsh speaker, and being quick to execute wrath. I remembered how people would hate to see me bring the Bible out of the shelf because I'd use to argue with people back when I was newly saved. Then I ended up not becoming a witness anymore because I don't want to lose my temper as much as possible. I guess that's why God sends witnesses by pairs. God was aware that Moses and Aaron had traits that could help each other.

Dr. Vernon McGee in his commentary on the subject stated the following which are selected excerpts for this post:
"Slow to wrath" - that is, slow to anger. Don't argue about religion and lose your temper. It is good to be fundamentalist but don't start fighting about every jot and tittle of theology with everybody in sight who disagrees with you. After all, you don't have all the truth.
May I say to you, there are a lot of unworthy Christians today with uncontrollable tempers that spoil their testimonies as mucha s anything in this life can spoil them.
James says, "The wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God." You may feel that you are a defender of the faith, but, my friend, the wrath of man simply does not work the righteousness of God. Don't kid yourself that you are angry for His sake, because He's not angry - He's in the saving business.

Although there is no doubt that God is angry with the wicked every day (Psalm 7:11) yet we have to know that it's holy, righteous anger. The anger of God is not the same as the anger of man. Man gets mad and it usually produces ugly results. I couldn't count the number of times I did something stupid because I got angry. I wanted to hurt someone physically over an insult. I got so seething mad over an insult to the point it nearly derailed my whole life. Wasn't the command of the Bible regarding insults to turn the other cheek in Matthew 5:38-40? In the Bible, a slap in the face was also equivalent to an insult. In today's language, we can say that what somebody said was a slap to one's face if you found it offensive or insulting. God's command for insults is to turn the other cheek but that command is very hard to follow if you're choking in your pride. Sometimes, some people go as far as to mutilate or even murder someone over a mere insult. How's that even the righteousness of God to go as far as to physically harm someone over something that could be ignored? 

Worse, it tends to go with my poor justification to lose my temper with lines such as "He started it!", "That person was so mean!" or "That woman was being such a witch!" Take note that witch here doesn't refer to anybody practicing witchcraft but being a mean woman. It would be accompanied by something like, "That's why I did it! Yes, I slapped the person. What am I supposed to do? Let him insult me when it hurts?" Then it ends up with a long argument where I get lectured at how Jesus instructed His followers not to retaliate except in cases of real, physical danger. I'm told "So what? It doesn't justify why you physically hurt that person! I'm not saying that person is so good. You're no better with what you did!" Turning the other cheek is not about putting myself in danger but not to seek revenge. Going the extra mile means to be long-suffering towards the mean people. Giving one's cloak also meant to be willing to help mean people when they are in need. 

So, when I think about it, how can I get mad at somebody not being Christlike in their behavior (and the person, is NOT a Christian) when I myself don't respond like Jesus? 

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