Am I Getting Really Vindictive Over Very Petty Issues?

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"Forgive as you have been forgiven!" is a command that the Lord Jesus gives. Yet, I find myself tempted to remain vindictive over very petty issues. The command is clear that if someone strikes you on one cheek - turn the other also. If you noticed, turning the other cheek means warding off the blow without using violence. It's all about letting it bounce or letting it go. However, I've found myself in the situation of the unforgiving servant. The king pardoned a huge debt that couldn't be paid yet the servant couldn't forgive someone who owed him much less. The king represents God who wouldn't lose anything pardoning such a huge debt that nobody can pay. God owns everything so pardoning a debt that huge means nothing to Him.

So what petty issues am I getting vindictive over with? It's all about insults and petty bullying. I tend to remind myself if I can forgive people who I had a feud with for years then why I can't do the same with people who offended me at the first moment? It reminded me of how much it means that only God can make me forgive classmates of mine in high school who have offended me at a very shallow level. So why can't I forgive people who I've just met and offended me at a very petty level too? Then I remembered one thing that I ended up continuously defaming people (such as accusing so and so to be a Vatican agent without any proof whatsoever), threatening to torture said person (which would give me no right to criticize the Catholic Inquisition) or even murder said person (and murder is strictly forbidden) for something very trivial.

I remembered being asked, "Are you really willing to kill someone over something so trivial as an insult?" I answered that I would and I was reminded, "I thought you are a Christian. Where is your love your enemies and turn the other cheek?" At that point, I just couldn't answer because I claim to be a Christian but fail to display Christlike behavior towards my enemies. Sure, forgiveness doesn't mean condoning to evil. It's all about letting go and letting God handle the problems. I have no right to request someone to be jailed unless if the said person committed an offense against anyone that would harm society.

I could think of how this vindictiveness insults Jesus who allowed all the insults and evils of the world to hurt Him for our sake. Jesus was heavily insulted on the day He would allow Himself to be harmed by wicked men so He could pay for the penalty of sin and to destroy its power upon the lives of people. Jesus cried out, "Father forgive them for they know not what they do!" So why am I getting worked out over minor issues? Why am I getting overly worked out over their ignorance rather than praying to God to forgive them for it?

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