My Inner Struggle With Calvinism is Still Going On
As I look back in my Christian life and look forward I recalled how much I had some problems with Calvinism. I could agree with the problem of Total Depravity where people can't save themselves because of sin. I soon learned that you can't lose your salvation because of the truth called the Perseverance of the Saints. The true saints of God can't stop believing in Christ and I once thought it's possible to renounce Christ and be damned again until I did more Bible study. But there's one thing that I could say that I have a problem with the ULI of TULIP and why's that?
I thought it's cruel to believe in Unconditional Election, Limited Atonement and Irresistible Grace. David W. Cloud of Way of Life Literature admitted he could embrace a Calvinist brother or sister in Christ but he's still convinced that election is serious error. The difference between the Calvinist Christian and the non-Calvinist Christian lies in their view of true conversion. Non-Calvinists don't believe that they were predestined and preordained to salvation. They may acknowledge the King James Bible was translated by Calvinists and that many songs were written by Calvinists but they still don't want to believe election.
I thought it's cruel to believe in Unconditional Election, Limited Atonement and Irresistible Grace. David W. Cloud of Way of Life Literature admitted he could embrace a Calvinist brother or sister in Christ but he's still convinced that election is serious error. The difference between the Calvinist Christian and the non-Calvinist Christian lies in their view of true conversion. Non-Calvinists don't believe that they were predestined and preordained to salvation. They may acknowledge the King James Bible was translated by Calvinists and that many songs were written by Calvinists but they still don't want to believe election.
My struggle with Calvinism is that I still have a problem whether or not I should believe in Unconditional Election, Limited Atonement and Irresistible Grace. The reason is because wasn't Jesus' death on the cross meant to provide payment for everyone who would believe? Then I start going from Calvinist to non-Calvinist in moments. I become a Calvinist every time I realize that all I can do is warn and that not everyone will believe. When I start to look at why I even chose Christ I only thought of the verses Jesus said in John 15:16 when Jesus stated these words, "Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you." In other words as Charles H. Spurgeon mentions is that you couldn't have chosen Christ if He didn't choose you first.
Did Christ choose me first? I thought that maybe, just maybe that maybe I could only believe in Him as the only Way to the Father because He chose me first? I thought of Revelation 18:4 which says, "And I heard another voice from heaven, saying, Come out of her, My people, that ye be not partakers of her sins, and that ye receive not of her plagues." I thought of the words "my people". Is it so that God's mention of "my people" refers to the Elect and that only the Elect could come out of Babylon? Did I leave the Roman Catholic institution the great Mother of Harlots only because God Himself did a role call and only the Elect could hear that command to come out of her and get saved? Then I think of how many songs are indeed written by Calvinist writers themselves!
I sang the song "Why Have You Chosen Me" without even thinking what the word "chosen" means. Then we have 2 Thessalonians 2:13-14 says, "But we are bound to give thanks alway to God for you, brethren beloved of the Lord, because God hath from the beginning chosen you to salvation through sanctification of the Spirit and belief of the truth: whereunto He called you by our Gospel, to the obtaining of the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ." So why am I along with non-Calvinists still thinking, "No, people aren't predestined!" Then again doesn't the verse say that Christians were from the beginning chosen for salvation? Wasn't it that the soulwinning done by Calvinists is to find out who is Elect and who isn't? With the idea of chosen for salvation then I realize this one maybe just maybe I couldn't even see my wretchedness as a sinner if I wasn't chosen by a holy and righteous God while I was yet lost in sin.
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